For a while I didn’t understand the obsession over being liked, accepted and celebrated by others. I couldn’t digest the fact that everyone suffered from it, some to a stronger degree than others, despite one’s status or lack thereof. From insecure teenagers to best-selling poetry authors, the expression of the desire to be liked and the fear of not being accepted was broad.
Some may turn it into art, writing, drawing or producing projects that convey the pain and strain caused by worrying about how others viewed themselves. Others may turn it into characteristics of their personalities, overcompensating at every interaction and occasion to show their desire to be liked and accepted, and wilting at the sign of rejection.
But over the past few months, with social media and reflections from friends, I’ve come to realise, how can we not? In today’s society, a majority of desired jobs rely on being liked, being appealing or being looked up to, that is, to a specific market. Sure we can’t please everyone, but how can we be a successful influencer, marketer, writer, coach, actor, chef or advisor without being liked by some people? Our jobs rely on people wanting to know more about us, be us or learn from us. Therefore our constant reminders on being ourselves and to not think about what others think of us when striving to be successful, is to a certain extent, invalid.
When someone tells me that my constant workout related posts have motivated them and sparked a fire in them to do better, my eyes sparkle in glee. Despite not being an influencer, or a professional athlete, or a coach, my brimming desire to excel in fitness has spilled onto my social media and become the content of my friends, friend’s friends and other acquaintances scrolling time , and has somehow affected them in a microscopic level, and has reverted to my satisfaction of knowing I have someone’s approval in doing something I love, despite not knowing where it will take me.
When someone tells me that my book recommendations and other similar posts have motivated them to read more and ask you for more recommendations, my heart flutters a little. By genuinely sharing my love for books, I have infiltrated the minds of dormant bookworms that have always wanted to do more. These acknowledgements remind me that there are people that I know that are interested in similar content, fueling my constant desire to share related creative content, and encourage me to flourish creatively.
So regardless of my claim to not being an avid people pleaser, with my blunt opinions and constant disregard of people I find repelling, I am, in fact just as desiring for people’s approval, when it comes to doing things I love. And at glance this may seem toxic, an endless trap that one can easily get lost in, but in fact it is just another element in my life that requires maintenance, balance and constant hard work, alongside my mental health, personal relationships, physical health and creativity. We are at best, human beings, trying to find our tribe, the nook in the exponential universe in which we belong.
15.12.2020 las cuatro y media
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