2020 Booklist!

At the end of 2019 I decided that I want to read more, whether it be fiction or nonfiction, since reading was one of the few things that made me feel like I was moving forward, by absorbing the stories, the information, the science, the flow, the art, the feelings, with each book leaving me with a slightly different feeling or point of view, determined, refreshed, at peace or melancholic. Whichever feeling it is, I feel like I’ve changed, and it’s a sign that i’m alive, very cringe I know, but we all our ways of trying to feel alive.

I aimed for 50 books in 2020, and well, I ended with 26, not a bad number, but also, could’ve done better. I do, however, think that I’ve covered a decent variety of books, from fiction to nonfiction, historical novels to modern novels, self-help books to finance books, stepping out of my comfort zone with my book choices and being met with exceptional insights.

Without further ado, here is the promised list! (scroll to the end for favourites)

1. Everything is fucked- Mark Manson (Non-fiction) (Self-help) (Psychology)

2. Kitchen- Banana Yoshimoto (Fiction) (Short stories)

3. Autumn- Ali Smith (Fiction) (Novel) (Literary)

4. Everything I Know About Love- Dolly Alderton (Non-fiction) (Autobiography)

5. Option B- Facing Adversity Building Resilience and Finding Joy- Sandberg & Grant (Non-fiction) (Psychology)

6. Home Remedies- Xuan Julianna Wang (Fiction) (Short stories)

7. The Hate U Give- Angie Thomas (Fiction) (Novel) (Culture)

8. Tell Me Three Things- Julie Buxbaum (Fiction) (Novel)

9. Words In Deep Blue- Cath Crowley (Fiction) (Novel)

10. Genuine Fraud- E. Lockhart (Fiction) (Novel) (Suspense/Thriller)

11. Conversation With Friends- Sally Rooney (Fiction) (Novel)

12. Normal People- Sally Rooney (Fiction) (Novel)

13. Rich Dad, Poor Dad- Robert T. Kiyosaki (Non-fiction) (Self-help)(Finance)

14. Millennial Money Makeover- Connor Richardson (Non-fiction)(Self-help) (Finance)

15. If I Had Your Face- Frances Cha (Fiction) (Novel)

16. Use Your Words- Catherine Deveny (Non-fiction) (Self-help) (Creativity)

17. Smarter, Faster, Better- Charles Duhigg (Non-fiction) (Self-help) (Psychology) (Motivation)

18. Pachinko- Min Jin Lee (Fiction) (Novel) (Historical) (Culture)

19. (Re-read) Everything I Know About Love- Dolly Alderton (Non-fiction)(Autobiography)

20. The Cost of Living- Deborah Levy (Non-fiction) (Autobiography)

21. You Are A Badass At Making Money- Jen Sincero (Non-fiction) (Self-help) (Finance) (Psychology)

22. Writers & Lovers - Lily King (Fiction) (Novel)

23. Americanah - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Fiction) (Novel) (Culture)

24. Perfect Days- Raphael Montes (Fiction) (Novel) (Suspense/Thriller)

25. Ichigo Ichie- Hector Garcia & Francesc Miralles (Non-fiction) (Self-help)

26. Ghosts- Dolly Alderton (Fiction) (Novel)

To be honest I still have a couple of books that I’ve started from early last year and have not finished, or decided not to finish, so if it made it on the list it means that it was compelling enough, hence a decently good read. But of course, I have my favourites:

Non-fiction:

Everything is fucked- Mark Manson (Non-fiction) (Self-help) (Psychology)

By the the author who wrote The subtle art of not giving a f*ck, this book is along the same lines, taking apart the most common reasons people are not psychologically okay and using scientific examples, personal anecdotes and other sociology research to take a deeper look into how to still have hope in this world that feeds you reasons to be hopeless on the daily.

Use Your Words- Catherine Deveny (Non-fiction) (Self-help) (Creativity)

A great book to read if you’ve been stuck in a creative rut, especially one related to writing. The author has a great way with words (obviously), with a narrative that motivates you, talks you out of your self-pity spiral (sternly), and at the same time giving you practical steps to take to do better.

Smarter, Faster, Better- Charles Duhigg (Non-fiction) (Self-help) (Psychology) (Motivation)

Also by the author of The Power of habit, this book takes a look at how motivation works, from neurons firing in our brains, self-motivation, goal setting focus and decision making, he covers different factors that affect our motivation levels and tactics to increase our productivity.

Millennial Money Makeover- Connor Richardson (Non-fiction)(Self-help) (Finance)

A book that covers some basic financial concepts mentioned Rich dad, poor dad, but also adding a more modern tone with lessons in clearing debt, budgeting, generating savings and using technology to manage money.

You Are A Badass At Making Money- Jen Sincero (Non-fiction) (Self-help) (Finance) (Psychology)

This is more of a look at the psychology of making money and why many of us are failing in this department due to societal, cultural and familial preconceptions towards money that lead us to having guilt, fear and discomfort towards making it. The author helps you understand that you can, and are deserving to make as much money as you want, and most of the time your thoughts of how you can’t is the biggest obstacle between that money making energy flowing into your life. This book definitely helped me a lot in unloading some learned emotional baggage related to money.

Everything I Know About Love- Dolly Alderton (Non-fiction) (Autobiography)

An autobiography by British columnist, screenwriter, director, Dolly Alderton. She writes about her boy crazed days, friendships, her love of food, lack of self-love, loss, job-searching, growing up and love. Alderton writes with the tone of a wise wild party veteran, the wisdom of an agony aunt and the love of a real big sister. This book reminded me to take a good look at the people who have loved me along the way, and to not be ashamed of the heydays of drunk nights and endless hangovers, but to see how far we have gone despite the self-destruction we have thrusted onto ourselves in the past.

The Cost of Living- Deborah Levy (Non-fiction) (Autobiography)

Also an autobiography, but more in a literature, artsy, middle-age, looking back at life, what does all this pain mean, gender roles, why does my neighbour hate me and love kind of way. I recommend this if you want to read something a little more artsy, impactful and calming.

Fiction

As a reader, my favourite genre is fiction, namely fiction that makes me feel deeply, helps me learn something, is relatable, has a good flow, and more often than not tends to be a little sad, because what is more relatable than pain hahahhahahhahaaha. If that’s not your cup of tea, then these may not be for you, regardless, here are my favourites from 2020:

Kitchen- Banana Yoshimoto (Fiction) (Short stories)

This book houses two short stories that have a connection to kitchens, love, family and solitude. It’s translated from Japanese and has a very specific literary tone so you might need to read a few pages to get used to the story’s flow, but it’s a quick read and you’re sure to finish this book feeling warm inside. (It’s been awhile since I read this so hopefully I didn’t butcher the synopsis)

Normal People- Sally Rooney (Fiction) (Novel)

You might have heard of this one already because it’s been made into a TV series, but as always, books always go into a deeper emotional level than the tv or movie versions. The story follows Colin and Marianne who go to the same school but live very distinct lives, one below middle class and the other upper middle class, one popular and the other a loner, but somehow they connect and their relationship unravels as they grow and move forward in life. It’s a love story but also one that looks at who they are individually, who they are when they grow apart, who they seem to be and who they feel like they actually are. ( The other book by Sally Rooney on my list was also written really well and was a good read, I just related to this story more.)

Pachinko- Min Jin Lee (Fiction) (Novel) (Historical) (Culture)

This is a thick one with a whooping 490 pages, but you’ll see why as it follows a korean family of four generations as they emigrate to Osaka during Japan’s occupation of Korea and World War II. The story has everything a good story should have, family, passion, love, loss, culture, history, hardship and belonging, pick this up and you’ll learn not only about the life of an immigrant family but also the cultural nuances of a monumental period in history.

Americanah - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Fiction) (Novel)(Culture)

Another thick one as it follows the story of Ifemelu, a young girl from Nigeria who moves to the US for University and her growth from being a girl into a woman, her relationship with her family, race, class, love, friendship, her long ties with Obinze ––her first love. The book delves deep into the American dream, or what it seems like to an outsider, being non- American black in the US, racism––be it explicit or implicit, and the concept of finding yourself and where you belong despite the struggles of surviving and moving upwards in a society that seems to be built for those on top. One of the best reads from last year, I recommend it to everyone.

Ghosts- Dolly Alderton (Fiction) (Novel)

The first novel by the author of Everything I Know About Love, Alderton writes to move your heartstrings as we see the protagonist try to find love in this day and age in which online dating can only find you a limited pool of “eligible” matches, and these matches when inspected closely may not even be quite who they say they are. Nina finds herself in her early thirties, with old friends settling in with their new families, her parents growing in age, a successful career in food writing and a new neighbourhood, engulfed in the realisation that with age and independence comes a whole package of struggles. I recommend this if you loved her autobiography, as you can see bits of her in the protagonist, but also if you’re learning the lesson of growth and solitude.

Our obsession over being liked: an epiphany

For a while I didn’t understand the obsession over being liked, accepted and celebrated by others. I couldn’t digest the fact that everyone suffered from it, some to a stronger degree than others, despite one’s status or lack thereof. From insecure teenagers to best-selling poetry authors, the expression of the desire to be liked and the fear of not being accepted was broad.

Some may turn it into art, writing, drawing or producing projects that convey the pain and strain caused by worrying about how others viewed themselves. Others may turn it into characteristics of their personalities, overcompensating at every interaction and occasion to show their desire to be liked and accepted, and wilting at the sign of rejection.

But over the past few months, with social media and reflections from friends, I’ve come to realise, how can we not? In today’s society, a majority of desired jobs rely on being liked, being appealing or being looked up to, that is, to a specific market. Sure we can’t please everyone, but how can we be a successful influencer, marketer, writer, coach, actor, chef or advisor without being liked by some people? Our jobs rely on people wanting to know more about us, be us or learn from us. Therefore our constant reminders on being ourselves and to not think about what others think of us when striving to be successful, is to a certain extent, invalid.

When someone tells me that my constant workout related posts have motivated them and sparked a fire in them to do better, my eyes sparkle in glee. Despite not being an influencer, or a professional athlete, or a coach, my brimming desire to excel in fitness has spilled onto my social media and become the content of my friends, friend’s friends and other acquaintances scrolling time , and has somehow affected them in a microscopic level, and has reverted to my satisfaction of knowing I have someone’s approval in doing something I love, despite not knowing where it will take me.

When someone tells me that my book recommendations and other similar posts have motivated them to read more and ask you for more recommendations, my heart flutters a little. By genuinely sharing my love for books, I have infiltrated the minds of dormant bookworms that have always wanted to do more. These acknowledgements remind me that there are people that I know that are interested in similar content, fueling my constant desire to share related creative content, and encourage me to flourish creatively.

So regardless of my claim to not being an avid people pleaser, with my blunt opinions and constant disregard of people I find repelling, I am, in fact just as desiring for people’s approval, when it comes to doing things I love. And at glance this may seem toxic, an endless trap that one can easily get lost in, but in fact it is just another element in my life that requires maintenance, balance and constant hard work, alongside my mental health, personal relationships, physical health and creativity. We are at best, human beings, trying to find our tribe, the nook in the exponential universe in which we belong.

15.12.2020 las cuatro y media

Habits & Planning (or the lack thereof)

I have, over the past few days come to a realization that the thought of planning things and doing rituals excites me and gives a fresh new hope in the seemingly mundane repetitiveness of my daily life. But the actual sitting down and planning and doing the rituals tire me, knowing that it takes an extra spike of energy, an extra block of time, an extra chunk of space in my thoughts fills me with boredom, fatigue and dread. So I definitely am not a planner, not in my personality nor in my passions.

I know I’m not a pioneer in this, with this being the motivation for many habit building, mental reshaping self-help books, videos and exercises. Yes, the first step in building a habit is always the hardest, which is what I’ve learned from all the psychology books teaching me to train my brain better ( The Power of Habit & Smarter Faster Better by Charles Duhigg being my top picks), and the advice I always give people when they ask how I can keep up a seemingly consistent workout schedule.

But then again this knowledge does not make starting a skincare routine and sticking to it any easier, nor does it make keeping my home plants lively and green the easiest task, and don’t even get me started on using a planner or journal all the way through, a feat that I have yet to complete since my scribbly days in junior high. Not to mention the constant language practices for my Korean and Spanish, the will otherwise remain stagnant, or worse, deteriorate (*gasps* oh no my role a multilingual is sooo threatened)

Jokes aside, I try to remind myself that like my mental health being something that needs constant work (to not succumb to my tendencies of being a pessimist and emotional wreck), my habits and my goals are also nonetheless, the same. To anyone who reads this and can relate to my reluctance in being a doer that is a planner, I see you, no really, I SEE U.

Below you'll find a photo of me looking lost and stressed, I'm convinced I constantly look like this: