A half-written emo short story by yours truly in 2016

She didn’t have a say in writing her own story, so she decided to make stories of her own.

She got out of the house at 7 am and started running like she never has before, she didn’t care if her lungs sucked and she literally had to heave her way out of the neighborhood, she didn’t care if the cold was making her tremble, she just ran on. She ran across the streets, which were starting to get busy with the usual city noises, people rustling back and forth to get to work or school or wherever the city led them to. She ran until she reached the empty spiraling streets near the country clubs, where people rarely passed by in the morning.

She wanted to run as far as she could, until she could leave her life behind, until she could leave all the bad and tiring parts and just be free to chase her dreams and be wherever she wanted to be.

“Buzz, buzz.” The vibration of her phone made her motivation pulsing playlist pause. She ignored it and kept running. “BZZZZZZZZ, BZZZZZ.” Longer vibrations, more pausing, she knew it was a phone call, and she had no choice but to pick it up. “Hello?” She answered the phone call as quiet as she could hoping the person on the other end won’t hear her. “Where are you? Why won’t you reply to my texts? What’s wrong?” the husky male voice on the other end bombarded her with questions, now if this was a normal girl’s life where she had a normal problems, that guy would have been her overly-concerned boyfriend who could not stand a moment without her, but no, this was no average life with average problems.

“Can you answer me? Hello? Look Gwen, I didn’t want to call but unfortunately we’re short of staff today. Come over as soon as you can will you? People are starting to pile in. HELLO?” It was Daniel her boss, “Pete’s sake, what is wrong with this kid?” or more like ex-boss since she quit last night. Darcy hung up the phone and cursed under her breath. “Unfortunately my ass, ugh damn it, so much for freedom and chasing my dreams.”

Gwen has a feeling that he just doesn’t want to hire new people as long as he could always summon her back, since Gwen was conveniently Daniel’s step sister. That’s why he’s been intentionally putting off hiring new staff even after Taylor Gwen’s ex best friend and some other staff quit over the summer holidays after working at the shop for 3 years, since first year of senior high.

While she dragged herself unwillingly back to the house to get changed, sweating from her supposed-to-be-30-minute-but-reality-called-and-broke-it-up-fitness-run. She can’t help start reminiscing all the fun times she used to have with Taylor, who always made her feel that it was okay to settle down into her mediocreness which she seemed to be doomed into since her dad left the family and went AWOL.

That was until Taylor decided to screw Gwen’s boyfriend who she’s been dating for 2 years, so much for having her back. Apparently they enjoyed each other’s company so much they started hanging out, alone, in Joash’s bedroom. That was how she found out, opening the door to his apartment to return some reference books that she borrowed from his sister. And instead of an empty apartment since Joash was supposed to be at the gym and the rest of the family was away for the weekend, she was welcomed with scattered clothes on the floor leading to Joash’s room. She could hear a loud creaking noise from the end of the corridor, his door was wide open and she could see Joash’s body on top of Taylor’s petite figure. He was moving rhythmically which made Taylor moan.

Gwen stood there for a second, contemplating whether she should scream and slam the door or just leave and pretend she didn’t see anything. She decided that the latter was more practical because her emotional capacity is a size of pea and she cannot afford to breakdown in front of the two people who she thought she knew so well and ended up betraying her. But on her way out she bumped into the wooden cabinet on the corridor causing a commotion. And Joash ran out naked, flushed and trying to explain things. “Hey I’m sorry …. I….I didn’t mean to do anything…to hurt you.” He blurted while trying to stop her from leaving. She just left without hearing him out.

The rest was history, she never talked to the pair again. She never felt betrayal that deep since her dad left her. She wasn’t sure she could hold out if she forgave them and it happened again. She didn’t want to go back to that place where she couldn’t trust people and felt like she herself was the only person she should trust.

She sighed while leaving the house, hoping that she would start to see silver linings in the clouds and really find happiness. Even though the closest thing to happiness she had right now was saving up enough money and flying out to England to fulfill her thirst of travel, and maybe, just maybe, leave her mediocorness behind. Meanwhile she’s got to continue living this tiring life of raising her GPA by day and working her ass off at random jobs at night. Freedom is a privilege that she didn’t have.

My Highly rated TV binges (2019ish-2020)

As an expert procrastinator, one of the few things that I spend the most time on is watching tv shows, dramas and movies, anything to fill the void....... Here are my most recent binges and favourites:

K-Drama:

1.Search WWW

This is my most recent favourite (despite the craze for a certain North Korea related drama that have not gotten around to watching, precisely because of the hype), I loved the aesthetic (from their outfits ti their set design) and how it emphasized strong women being resilient and helping each other out without it being cliché, and how the premise is being in a company similar to Google but with a Korean touch. The love story I must say, isn't too cringe which is great because although I am a sucker for romcoms,too much cheesy moments make me wanna curl up. This show has relatable moments that make you feel okay for being a shitty human, and get you in touch with your existential crisis but also shower you with a little hope.

2. Because this is My First Life

This is a show that I just clicked on and wasn't expecting much of, and it ended up being alright. The protagonist is a typical angelic pure girl who worked hard on her career and never had a relationship and finds herself somehow homeless in her early thirties, she has her meet-cute with the male lead through friends in her search for a place to stay. A good one to watch if you want just a simple love story with some typical kdrama elements (ahem contracts), but with a little fresh twist because they don't end up making the decisions you think they do, and also the simultaneous love stories of the protagonist's best friends really make you look forward to what happens next.

3.Cheese in the trap

It's been a while since I've watched this one(a few months), but this is still a super recommended one. The female lead is the girl who starred in Goblin(!!!!!!), and also stars the girl from Weightlifting fairy Kim-bok Joo which was already a great motivation to watch it. But if you know not of any of these people, I still think it's still worth a watch, the story is based on a korean webtoon which is about a guy who for most of the episodes leaves you feeling like he's a sociopath because he seems to only be nice to people on the surface but have malicious and calculated intent, who then runs into the female lead and starts showing interest in her, which leaves her feeling, well baffled, because she just wants to lay low and work hard in her last uni days and obviously not get herself involved with a manipulative senior, but surprise surprise she breaks. Sounds good right? well go on then watch it, look it up on Netflix what are you waiting for?

4.My First love

​A two part Korean Netflix original (it's actually only 8 episodes each part so technically it's just 16 episodes like all other Korean dramas), the story is about Tae O, your typical boy next door, suddenly finding himself with not one but three housemates, as his friends end up in home-less predicaments and him not being able to turn them away.

5. Itaewon Class

Everyone has watched it, but if you haven't this is a good Korean drama to dive into, the work ethics of Park Sae Ro yi (played by Park Seo Jun) the dynamics between him and his crew, his tear-jerking back story brings you an drama with characters that grow on you and unpredictable twists unlike other dramas.

6. Hospital Playlist

This is still an ongoing one, comes out every Thursday at 10 pm ( in Hong Kong), it surrounds five doctors that have been best friends since med school and their daily lives in the hospital, the relationships between their families, friends and colleagues, and of course their patients. It's not over the top with the emotional scenes, the characters, for the most part react sensibly, like a person would in real life, none of that over the top gestures or reactions in usual kdramas. A very good friendship and hospital themed drama.

Others:

1.Elite (!!!!!!!!!!)

This Spanish drama has won me over and have me feeling so many feels and relating to so many of the characters, wrote a quick review on my insta (@myprocrastinationdiary, which involves me ranting about someone rejecting the show when I suggested it to them.

2. On My Block

Since watching Jane the Virgin (also a much loved show), I have been on the look for a good Spanglish show to get into. This is one of the shows that I found on that search, it's more of a teen type of show, based in a neighborhood in L.A (at least that's what i think it is idk) where five early teens try to live life as normal teenagers in their crime infested hometown, with gangs, treasure hunts and annoying friends, it's a pretty fun show to watch (because it's comedic not because of the crimes OK).

3. Giri/Haji

A Japanese and English show, about a cop that thought his brother died, but is somehow tied to the death of a relative of a Yakuza member. He gets sent to London as an exchange student to investigate, and bring his brother back, dead or alive. Oh, also he has a rebellious daughter that somehow gets caught up in all this and he also meets a nice English lady while in London. Family, friendship, crime, action, shame and duty ( which is what the show name means) all rolled into one show, sounds good right? Oh there's also a cute gay Wasian boy on it, aren't you sold? I'm sold.

4.The Good Place

Kristen Bell. Yeap, she's here, and she plays Eleanor a white trash moral-less person who ends up in heaven and tries to figure out what the hell is going on. The show goes through a bunch of different ethics and moral concepts while showcasing some ludicrous afterlife scenarios. It's a lighthearted comedic approach to look at afterlife and our own life decisions(although i doubt half of us while make decisions as ridiculous as some of the characters have, but idk about your personal life soooo....).

Reading Goals for 2020

In October 2019, I decided it would be a good idea to read a 100 books in a year, to get back on the reading grind in hopes that it can help with my creativity and sanity. However, after some calculations, I realised that would mean that I'd have to read 8 books per month, which means 2 books a week, which honestly is pretty fucking daunting, even for someone who used to spend their spare time downing YA novels like it's soda on a hot day. Therefore I decided it would be more realistic to set a goal of reading 50 books by October 2020. So far it has been going great, and here's the list of books that I've read so far:

1.Everything is f*cked— Mark Manson

(Ok I don't know If I should really count this book since I was already reading it before I set this goal, but still, good book, If you liked The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, and/or are always thinking about why's of being human, tis a book for you my child)

2.Kitchen— Banana Yoshimito

(A birthday gift, a warm book, two short stories, translated from Japanese)

3.Everything I know About Love— Dolly Alderton

(This book just UGH, it is everything, I love it, read it and weep, it's non-fiction but reads like one, and finish it feeling like you've been mentored by Dolly in life)

4.Autumn — Ali Smith

(A artsy feeling fiction book, a little out of my usual selection, but since I saw it on Jemimah Wei's book recs, I decided to give it a go. A mixture of love, family, friendship, art, emotions and Brexit's before and afters)

5. Home Remedies— Xuan Juliana Wang

(Also Jemimah Wei's recs, like the previous two books, a collection of short stories about Chinese immigrants, from ABC's that we all know all too well to people who just stumble onto the American dream)

6.The Hate U Give— Angie Thomas

(One of the book rec's I found when I looked for YA book recs, I am well aware I'm supposed to be leaving the young behind OK don't come at me. A story about a girl who through the death of her friend, finds her voice in standing up for Black lives, a book inspired/for the unjust deaths of Black people due to police brutality.)

7.Tell Me Three Things— Julie Buxbaum

(Second book I read on the Libby library app, which I finally tried after hearing recommendations for a while, a story of a teenage girl figuring out how to live after her mom's death and moving to a different state to her dad's new wife's house, and finding comfort in new friends, old friends and words of poetry)