(An ode to)Coffee

(To the left is a cup of coffee I had in Spain, I loved the coffee in Spain, and I guess any other coffee is less significant because I rarely take photos of them before I drink them)

In my years of drinking coffee, which is just coming to about five years (started when I was 18, when work and schoolwork seemed never ending and I wake up thinking about when I get to sleep again), I thought I would’ve at least be able to tell what good coffee is, decipher the descriptions for the coffee beans, that often sound like a bougie french meal to me: notes of dark charcoal, chocolatey, nutty, darjeeling… and so on.

But there are a few things I can tell you about coffee:

1. I can tell you if it’s shitty coffee or not.

2. whether certain coffees taste better cold or hot.

3. soy milk latte tastes like regret, while oat milk does wonders.

4. Coconut milk tastes fabulous with your coffee but feels a little too heavy.

5. Pumpkin spice lattes taste good, but mostly always taste better in your mind.

6. Most Japanese black coffees in the tin bottles are decent, but you’ll never finish the whole bottle even when you tell yourself you can.

7. don’t buy those lattes in tetra packs from M&S even if they look so healthy and enticing unless you like your coffee so milky that it’s basically milk with a drop of coffee.

8. Nor should you leave the coffee you filtered at home on the table for more than a day, because it will taste rank, and it will defeat the purpose of you bringing coffee on your own, because you’ll end up buying a new cup anyways.

So no, I am no coffee connoisseur, but I think I’m more of a connoisseur of what coffee feels like. Sometimes it feels like motivation, the right amount of hype to bring me to start the day productive, to be my preworkout that keeps my energy pumping through the reps. Sometimes it feels like a crutch, a reason to get on with my day even though I would much rather crawl back into bed and spend the day with my anxious thoughts. Sometimes it feels like a sign, a sign that today is the day I feel like sunshine instead of grey clouds, like a productive sprint instead of a procrastinating couch cuddler. Coffee, a key element of my adult life, what would I ever do without you? Or more accurately, what would I ever feel without you?

Book Review: Writers & Lovers by Lily King (#2)

I picked up this book with high hopes, having read extracts that promise relatable emotional prose. I didn't see these lines right away there were emotional deep dives into the protagonist's childhood, her dissatisfaction with not being where she wanted to be in her thirties, in comparison to her peers who were either published writers or those who "sold out" for a more profitable lifestyle.

The novel had numerous literature references, as expected, given it is a novel about a writer, which is highly appreciated, but also a whole unfamiliar realm considering my not existent depth of knowledge when it comes to English literature, especially the classical stuff.

Then came the words, that begged to be underlined, the words that felt like my own reflections, my own fears, pain and regrets. The book was not just about the loss of her mother, or the trauma that came in hand with the revelations of her father's character from her childhood, her trail of past lovers, or the fresh throbbing heartbreak. It was more about the picking herself up, despite everything. Amidst the physically numbing anxiety, the perpetual string of tough life decisions and disappointment, she kept going.

Lily King's novel reads like a reminder for everyone who feels like life is happening to them, rather than with them. A reminder to pause, look around, and realize, you already had all the answers, and that life is happening in the moments you put one foot in front of the other, in what seemed to be your worst challenges to date.

To feel like you learned someone's history, ride a roller coaster ride with them and watch them touchdown at the finish line, and reaping the seeds of their hard work, pick up this book. Let it make you feel all these things, and remind you all the pains and privileges of being alive.

17:03 12/10/20

To end I leave you with one of the lines that spoke to me from the book:

"I think of all the people playing roles, getting further and further away from themselves, from what moves them, what stirs them all up inside." p.147

There's a girl

Some friendships are made of toxicity and dependency.

Some are made of warmth and fluffy feelings.

She’s the type of girl you have the second kind of friendship with.

She’s the kind of girl who blushes when she throws her head back and laughs at your quips at life being a shitshow,

Not because she’s embarrassed,

but because God blessed her with a natural glow that can make blooming flowers jealous.

She’s the kind of girl to do portraits of her friends,

but not until she’s had enough practice,

because she wants the best for them,

and she thought she wasn’t the best then.

She’s the counselor,

the art director,

the muse,

AND

the work of art.

A sister,

a daughter,

A fulltime libra,

my favourite artist,

K

A

T

I

A

.

Feliz cumple mi amor💖